_page0006 | updated 21 June 2021, by Lucifer Christ.
1. Schizophrenic "Disorganized Thinking"
2. Schizophrenia: the presence of ongoing "Delusions of Grandeur"
3. Understanding why thinking "I am not God" is false
4. The problem coexists with the answer
I am an English teacher in
Since 3 Sept 2012, nine doctors diagnosed me with a lot of different mental disorders culminating in severe Schizophrenia and "Schizoaffective Disorder".
I met a tenth doctor recently on 31
May 2021 in
Normally, I probably shouldn't be
allowed to teach young children, but school managers in
Currently, one rather large private school claims that this story is maliciously ruining their reputation, and, therefore, I should be sent to prison or pay a fine (but I can continue sharing this story, because it's absolutely true and concerns absolutely everyone).
This page explains why my Schizophrenia is ongoing, since I'm going to need to argue that in court. (The school is also accusing me of threats, intimidation, and extortion. If any of the allegations were true, I certainly wouldn't be so prolifically public about this.)
1. Schizophrenic "Disorganized Thinking"
I understand that I am Schizophrenic because my thinking is not organized.
For example, when I try to write, I write using proper English grammar. The sentences appear, and I can read them. But I can't seem to write what I need to say in order to accomplish what I need to get done. Then I end up adding, editing, and finally re-writing things over and over. That results in a huge waste of time, years. I've been trying to share an important story for many years.
I used Google to translate the heading "Disorganized Thinking", and then I reverse translated the Chinese to see if Google preserved the meaning. Google enlightened me that "Disorganized Thinking" means "Confusion". I'd never thought about it like that, but that's exactly what it is.
And then I explored the translation to really understand if the meaning is the same. I quickly realized that "disorganized" means "not organized", "not in the expected order", and not "chaos".
I do seem to pay careful attention to detail, far more carefully than anyone else I've met, but I also quickly leave an issue, or argument, once the argument is resolved in my mind. This results in seemingly abrupt changes of thought, when in fact the issue is solved to my own satisfaction and I am once again in a peaceful mindset or working on a new issue. Usually I just enjoy the peace, which is why my wife and I laugh a lot and really enjoy spending time together.
The rest is really controlling the emotions that arrive while new thinking is sorting itself out. Acting out of anger, beheading children, throwing chairs across the room, none of that helps a situation. Luckily, I'm not a violent person. I get frustrated, which seems to scare people that don't know me, but my wife knows me. She just stays quiet, and eventually I recover my head and apologize and we talk about the actual issue causing us unnecessary stress. I joke that I keep my wife's life interesting and not dull. I'm like her favourite TV program, an ongoing soap opera of many characters which she never gets bored of watching.
My wife and I agree that the most important thing in the world is forgiveness, and that forgiving someone or something is also usually the hardest thing to do exactly at the time when it is most needed. It's usually easier to blame, throw a tantrum, or otherwise act insane than simply forgive.
Life is really just about understanding how things work, and then using that understanding to help things work better, more efficiently, to create a more sustainable environment, isn't it?
Just because my thinking does not follow the order that I expect, or that others expect from me, that doesn't mean that my thinking does not have more order, and better order, than I currently recognize. In fact, I'm certain that my thinking has perfect order. And that leads me to the second requirement of Schizophrenia: the presence of an ongoing delusion.
Before I continue, I want to add that my wife is truly awesome. She's actually more than my wife. She's my best friend. We were friends a long time before we married, and we'll probably remain best friends if we ever divorce, but, honestly, why would two people get a divorce if both people are always focused on the importance of forgiveness and working together? Specifically: a wife will say "Don't have sex with other girls!" but a best friend will say "Go, have fun, just don't hurt yourself or hurt others. I will always be your friend because that's what true friendship means." Eventually the silliness of wanting to be with other people is replaced with the desire to really just make the world a better place.
2. Schizophrenia: the presence of ongoing "Delusions of Grandeur".
In my opinion, I am the smartest person I know. I know there is no other person alive that is smarter than I am because I understand that everyone shares the exact same mind, which means no one has the ability to be smarter than anyone else!
Because I understand that everyone shares only one same eternal mind, that individual private mind don't really exist (refereeing to the Edward Snowden watershed, even the U.S.A.'s N.S.A. accepts that privacy rights of individuals should be considered a joke and disregarded complete), therefore I am also always willing to say:
I think we're having a misunderstanding. I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you're trying to say. Are we working together at the same goal of establishing the same sustainable worldwide peace, not? Because what you're telling me conflicts with a plan that I've already begun to help everyone enjoy worldwide peace without hurting anyone, and without causing any loss. So, can you please be more clear? Explain it to me as if I were a 2-year-old. Don't just say "I already told you", and don't expect me not to continue to suggest a better way to accomplish our common goal unless you can prove to me that my plan is not possible. With enough support, everything is possible.
因為我明白每個人都只有一個永恆的心靈，那個個人的私人心靈並不真正存在（以愛德華 斯諾登 分水嶺為例，即使是美國的國家安全局也承認個人隱私權應該被視為笑話而無視完整） ，所以我也總是願意說：
Really though, in every situation I always have a response, even if it's only reassure my wife that, in the many lifetimes I remember living, "I haven't taken the time to develop that talent. My skill is making consistent notes and following the notes I make, like a lawyer".
How do I know that everyone shares the same mind? How do I know that I am all people, but am just not consciously aware of being all people?
That's actually easy to answer. However, willingness to honestly hear the answer is directly proportional to the ability to understand the answer. I've included the answer below, under the heading "Understanding why thinking 'I am not God' is false".
When we are unconsciously not willing to receive an answer, not willing to honestly hear the answer, then the answer must confuse us.
Your confusion will then cause you to want to explain "What you are saying can't be correct. Your mind must not be right. You suffer from ongoing mental illness. I don't want to judge you, but your thinking is disorganized. From it, in the confusion, you experience the illusion of correctness, the illusion self-justified righteousness, what medical experts call a 'Delusion of Grandeur'."
I just typed that response, so you ought to recognize that I'm at least aware of the argument. But even if you say all of that and not simply tell me "You are wrong", and you believe that you are correct, honestly, did you explain anything at all?
Is calling someone "Delusional" or "not right" an explanation of the cause of the confusion (why the person's thinking is not correct)?
Telling me "You are wrong" or "I told you so" only displays your own arrogance. You should pay closer attention to what you say. But, honestly, it's "normal", right? It's normal to just throw your personal opinions at others and expect them to follow you without first asking if the person actually agrees with your opinion, right? As far as I'm concerned, I'm "not normal", so why should I care about your rudeness?
As long as we're working toward the same goal, we're actually happy. And if we're unhappy, then we should definitely work toward a happier goal!
My goal is gigantic, but not impossible. You probably can't believe it, but it really does include all people.
You never asked, but do you know why I strive to maintain such an impossibly large goal?
The answer is so simple: because we cannot think about "nothing", and "consistent" thinking requires us to include all things into our plans before we can wake up from the nightmare of always reincarnating back into this hellish life on Earth.
I don't want to come back here, ever again. That's my real goal. But you can't understand that as long as you believe that you stop thinking when your body dies. It's you who's confused about the thinking part of you, not me!
Why would an individual continue to argue in court for 10 years, and use publicly agreed laws to prove that the answer is correct, unless a lot of people are truly in need of help to understand this!
Can the word "Schizophrenic" really mean what you think it means if I am explaining to you why, precisely, the body is not real, and why, precisely, the body cannot be the source of any of our thinking? I am literally explaining to you that everything you think you know about life is incorrect, and that life does not work the way you imagine. And all you can do is call me a name? Why not pick a different word to call me? Call me God!
Next you will read why you can be certain that we share just one same mind, spirit, soul, or whatever you want to call the thinking part of us--the part that provides the ability of memory, the everlasting part, because whatever causes our thinking also always retains the ability to bridge different points in time without thinking.
If you are arguing with me in court about this, then you are going to hear this answer over and over again until you understand, truly, we really just share one mind (心靈).
3. Understanding why thinking "I am not God" is false.
There are only two ways to think about your mind. You can imagine you body contains your mind, and that your thinking will stop when your body dies, or you can understand that your body must exist inside your mind.
One way leads to hopelessness and despair about the events in your life. The other way must eventually cause you to want to help unconfuse people who suffer from hopelessness and despair.
That is the most fundament continuous choice that everyone always shares. Our momentary actions toward others tell us which choice we are currently making. Eventually we learn to tell the difference, and learn to choose the right choice more consistently.
That basically explains life anywhere in the universe (including on other planets). That's also why you know the answer is true: because it applies everywhere and all of the time.
A "proof", that the right choice is not to consider the mind as being part of the body, follows.
The world is always changing. (We must begin a proof with a true statement.)
Everything we see is made from small particles which are always moving. Everything in the universe is always moving. (We can ignore the fact that the particles originate from a quantum dimension which is not of physical origin.)
Now, because everything is "always" moving, therefore we can only be certain of one thing: whatever made the universe is timeless because the idea of "always" is "without time". The universe of time and space cannot affect or change the reality that eternally maintains the universe.
"Timeless" means "existing beyond time", "originating outside time", and "existing all throughout every relative reality of time-space".
A timeless reality must be perfectly unified, perfectly organized, with perfect organization (i.e. sentient), without any disagreement, consistent (i.e. constancy, consistency applied to itself), without any limits, and never ending. Therefore, whatever is "timeless" is also always sentient and whatever is sentient is our mind.
Conclusion: we share just one limitless eternal mind, and we really don't recognize it amidst all of the objects in our life that look like they're not moving when in fact they always are.
4. The problem coexists with the answer.
We share an eternal reality and we share this relative reality, but only one of them is absolutely real.
The issue is simply that we all share one common eternal reality, a reality which sustains just one mind, and that mind is our mind which we each implicitly always share, but which none of us really understands.
For example, doctors believe that medical injections (into a body which isn't eternally real and which isn't the source and can't be the cause of our thinking) can influence our thinking without our permission.
This is where worldwide religions derive the idea that a common "God" must exist. But worldwide religions are incorrect because the eternal reality ("God") cannot be separate from anything. Therefore our perception of a separate "God", or even worse, of many different "Gods", is false. From our finite perspective, it's more accurate to consider that "God" doesn't actually exist, and then to begin to realize that we cause all the "accidents" that happen to us each day.
Eternal is always the same, but it's also always increasing, it never remains the same from our perspective of whatever we can imagine eternal to be. And that's why the world keeps changing! Like a dream at night, we're not aware that our mind continuously builds our physical experiences, and we're certainly not aware that we can turn all negative experiences into mutually beneficial experiences when we don't want to truly work together!
My soul is your soul. My spirit and your spirit are always trying to work together. Physical life is just a momentary expression of a much larger, much more dominant confusion about the idea of always being (not just having) one eternal reality.
End of page. Comment on the Main Page:
Journal Of A Schizophrenic, with a twist.